Never Drink Alone

Never Drink Alone

Humans apparently do not like to drink alone—and neither do cats.  We will even lower our standards to drink, dare I say, with a dog (if there are no humans around).  Well what do you know.  There’s this company (Woof and Brew)  “across the pond,” (that’s how humans talk when they describe this kingdom, called “Great Britain”) that makes beer, wine–and hangover tonics for cats and dogs. So you can even share a hangover cure with your human.

I invited my doggy friend, TommyBoy,  to share a beer called, “Bottom Sniffer,” a beverage for dogs with healthy stuff like iron and iodine.  After drinking a few bottles, we bragged about how many fish we each caught (I beat him of course, as dogs are pretty lousy fishermen).  TommyBoy bragged that he was better at chasing cars, but who in their right mind would chase a car?  I lost that one.  We also boasted about our respective love lives, and I think we all know who came out ahead in this arena.  TommyBoy drank far too much beer so I had to share the hang-over tonic that got rid of his doggy breath and made him feel better.

There’s even a wine for dogs AND CATS called “Pawsecco, ” made up of elderflower, nettle, ginseng, and lime flower. (Unfortunately, my clueless caretaker did not buy me a bottle of wine.  Very thoughtless of her.)  I understand after drinking a few glasses of this elixir, you feel like you’re in charge of the world.

Woof and Brew even makes an herbal tonic, called “Windy Hound” that helps get rid of unpleasant orders that erupt from a dog’s rear end.    Or as the company says, “a  few caps a day keeps the farts away.”  (Cats rarely fart, and if they do, their farts smell like lavender on a sweet summer day.)

If you can persuade your care taker to buy some of these items (or steal their credit card and buy all by yourself), go to woofandbrew.com

The  iPrimio Perfect Scooper (Invented by Cats)

The iPrimio Perfect Scooper (Invented by Cats)

“Many humans buy their stuff from a river, called Amazon. I note that this scooper has five stars beside it. Have no idea what that means…perhaps some design motif.”

“I was so taken with the scoop that I just had to pose with it on my tummy.”

Finally, here is a nearly perfect poop scooper to clean out our litter boxes.  Although, I’ve been told that this scoop was designed by cat owners, there seems to have been a communication problem.  Cats actually designed it, but per usual, humans take all the credit for our efforts.

In fact, cats, designed such a great scooper that even we can use it.  That’s right.  As you can see from the above photo I’ve just finished scooping my own litter box and am quite satisfied with the results. I understand when humans use their own litter boxes and want to “move things along,” they often take reading materials with them.  They refer to this activity as “reading while on the can.”    So I attached the Sunday comics behind my litter box, so when I answer the “call of nature” I can read funny pictures that feature humans, which helps move things along.

We felines also came up with other great features.  The scooper is teflon coated, to prevent erosion and stinky poop slides off easily.  .    It’s solid cast aluminum so it won’t break under the weight of my “cat truffles.”  It’s got a short handle, which makes it easy to use in those enclosed litter boxes that look like small houses.  I was so taken with the scoop that I just had to pose with it on my tummy.

Many humans buy their stuff from a river, called Amazon.  I note that this scooper has five stars beside it.  Have no idea what that means…perhaps some design motif.

Click here to purchase the iPrimio Perfect Scooper (Invented by Cats)

My New Toy:  The Carrier Sling (which forces the human to carry me)

My New Toy: The Carrier Sling (which forces the human to carry me)

Darn it all….got this new toy that lets me cuddle and swing on my human’s shoulder while she walks down the path.   I have so much fun sitting back and surveying the world.    Yep, it’s the only way to go:  Have the human do all the work.  She choose a pretty blue color that looks great against my black and white fur.  Don’t you think I look quite handsome?   Since I also do PawReviews of human kid books, I can also tuck a book in the sling to take on my journey.  What a wonderful, lazy way to travel….a good book, a comfortable carrier, and a human to do all the work!